EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Using Pragmatica robots to deface Client property in any way will not be tolerated. We hope to avoid a repeat of last year's "decorate your crate" event at all costs. Any employee involved in such activities will receive two things: an extensive unpaid cleaning contract, followed by immediate dismissal. (Pragmatica HQ)

NEWS: Up-and-coming autologistics provider Supernova, Inc. yesterday announced a delay in its experimental research into a "LOVE" action for the standard remote-programmable robot, citing funding concerns and 'conceptual and logistical difficulties'. (Daily Beacon Online)

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Employees not using the 'AUTO-SAVE' feature are reminded to manually upload their contract report to Pragmatica using the 'SAVE' option provided in the terminal menu. This is necessary to process your preferences, contract records, and of course, pay. (Pragmatica HQ)

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: We remind employees of the dangers of consuming foods and/or beverages in the vicinity of your terminal - this poses not only a risk to the individual employee and hardware involved, but also to Client property and personnel if the terminal in question is currently operating a live connection to one or more robots. (Pragmatica HQ)

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Our technicians are proud to announce the total elimination of previously fatal logic errors in the standard 'SEE-CRATE' function. We thank employee REMAR, S. for her keen observation and extend our apologies to the Client who was mistakenly identified as a crate and carried through an exit space. (Pragmatica HQ)

NEWS: Reports that the recent reliability issues suffered by autologistics provider Supernova, Inc. were due to deliberate interference from nearby Pragmatica, Inc. transmitters have been strenuously denied as "malicious speculation" by the latter, who claim the incident arose from "provably ambiguous" conditions. (Industrial Eye supplement 10-A)

NEWS: A fire at a Manhattan warehouse which blazed for three days was finally extinguished by fire-fighting personnel on Tuesday. The remains of two recently-activated robots from autologistics firm Supernova, Inc. have been identified among the remains. The incident is being treated as an industrial accident. (Industrial Eye Online)

NEWS: Autologistics firm Supernova, Inc. recently confirmed the loss of several key robotics contracts spanning several fields of transport and industrial engineering, following an apparent failure of client confidence following Tuesday's industrial fire. Industry leader Pragmatica has publically pledged to provide increased service to those sectors affected by losses of Supernova contracts. (Empirical Online)

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Seasonal costumes for frequently-deployed robots are NOT permitted and will be treated as a fault in the chassis and/or drive system - affected machines will of course be recycled. (Pragmatica HQ)

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: While we provide live robots for testing in the 'MapMaker' department, please recognise that certain tests are considered a waste of company resources. Deliberately deploying 16 robots on collision courses will NOT be considered a scientifically valid means of research. (Pragmatica HQ)

PUBLICATION: "Advanced riot prediction in disillusioned industrial districts: a preventive case study", Thorson,M., LOGICA 43(2), pp.168-175

PUBLICATION: "Magellan: Micro-abrasive hypertextures for machine-specific optical optimisation procedures", Calabria,R.B., AUTO-SCIENCE 19(1), pp.168-175

COMMERCIAL: Stay tuned for upcoming lectures in Dr. Smith's world-renowned robotics usability seminar: "Human-Machine Interaction: Symbiosis for the Modern Age" as part of the AUTOLOG 9 'Intellectual Symposium' events this year - early-bird tickets available now! (AUTOLOG broadcasts)
 
NEWS: The trial of three men and a woman in connection with the sabotage of a robotics manufacturing plant in Bristol, UK continues, with the accused vehemently denying any connection with European anti-robotics activist group "Hand of Man", who claim responsibility for the explosion which resulted in the loss of several workers, and two humans. (Kikai International News Agency)
 
NEWS: French President Guillaume D'Acier is still facing unprecedently low approval on a nationwide level after last year's inadvertent comments that the autologistics firms of the world were "tyrants in ivory towers [...] casting our futures in their own moulds", against France's almost total adoption of low- and mid-level machine labour, despite record levels of (human) unemployment. (Le Fer)
 
COMMERCIAL: ._-- RATIONAL SNACKS --_. Having trouble thinking like a machine? Programming getting slow? LOAD UP YOUR LOGIC - BOOST YOUR BRAIN - POWER YOUR PROGRAMMING !!! Cinnamon-Caramel Conditions, Shaped Jelly Robots, Toasted Action Bites! (JamJam Foods)
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: The "Rational Snacks" range of Shaped Jelly Robots are now available in the Pragmatica HQ secondary cafeteria (23rd floor) - we anticipate high demand, so please limit yourselves to one pack each. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
COMMERCIAL: New! MIND-VOYAGER PLUS Professional Programming Throne - featuring a heated, moisturised and fully adjustable typing pad, SEVEN cup holders and our patented anti-distraction Peripheral Isolation Shield (PIS). No more breaks, no more procrastination - PIS yourself today! (Seating Empire)
 
COMMERCIAL: Discover the future with SUPERNOVA Autologistics, the very best and brightest in industrial progra*** ERROR connection aborted ***
 
COMMERCIAL: Dr. Silver's Fantastic Finger Wax. TRY IT TODAY! (Silver Ergonomics Supplies)
 
NEWS: The price of laser-manufacture rare-earth metals Dysprosium, Holbium and Erbium continues to rise to unprecedented levels, amid allegations of a multinational secret deal between several nations and industry leader Pragmatica, Inc. for a large percentage of future stocks. Autologistics firms Supernova, Inc. and Orion, Inc. claim to have launched independent investigations into the issue, but so far have unearthed precious little to support the allegations. (Industrial Eye Online)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Dr. Lavery is still missing her pink and yellow scarf - we know one of you guys have it since it was last seen on a robot in Durability Testing, so please return it asap, kk thanks. (Milo @ Pragmatica)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Does anyone know the number for the office infirmary? If not, a prognosis for drinking kerosene and home remedy, THANKS GUYS (Jon @ Pragmatica)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: I don't know who keeps changing my terminal background to a picture of a banana but rest assured I WILL find you. (Paul @ Pragmatica)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Does anyone else feel a bit queasy after three packs of Shaped Jelly Robots? Just askin'. (Lucy @ Pragmatica)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Seriously guys, we need Dr. Lavery's scarf back - they're going to shut off the coffee machines until it's returned. I know you guys in Testing spend most of your time asleep but the rest of us actually have to be conscious to earn our wage, so... (Milo @ Pragmatica)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Hey, do NOT share this with the other departments, but I've heard that if you press Shift + Escape you can get more contracts, I've never tried it but I'm ab*** ERROR connection aborted ***
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Hey, I hear Supernova pay more than these guys, you know. Want to jump ship? I mean, I don't know how much longer they'll be around but it's every dog for himself these days, right? Actually I probably shouldn't be using the internal mail for this sort o*** ERROR connection aborted ***
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Employees with young children are reminded that the gift shop (1st floor) now stocks officially licensed plush cuddly Pragmatica Robot soft toys of the finest quality. Despite overwhelming interest, stocks remain stable, so please buy guilt-free, there are enough for everyone. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE: Never forget, you are the architects of future industrial greatness. The instructions you write today may change the lives of millions in the future, especially in the (unlikely) event of accidental subjugation to robot overlords, however this is unlikely. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE: The people need our Clients, our Clients need us. We are the top of the intellectual pyramid and we will reap the appropriate rewards. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE: Remember ERICA: Evaluation, Reflection, Intention, Condition, Action. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
PUBLICATION: "Induced robophilia: The effects of childhood exposure to positive mechanical icons -  a case study", Johnston, C.R., Science 34(2), pp. 898-901
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Good news: today's weather is optimal for the continued operation of complex electronic equipment. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: All Pragmatica staff are reminded to report any issues or errors with their terminal software. Mistakes, however trivial, can cause tragic losses, and, occasionally, human deaths. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: As part of your ongoing training, please remember to check the SEMINAR submenu for newly-published programming manuals periodically. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
NEWS: The attribution of robotics control-network errors to local pigeon populations has led animal-rights groups to advocate the removal of elevated transmitters at the cost of affected autologistics firms. Industry leader Pragmatica, Inc., however, have responded by stationing moving robots on the rooftops of their buildings. Reports that they are developing a 'SEE-BIRD' condition to deal with the issue "directly" are unconfirmed. (Daily Beacon Online)
 
FORCED CONNECTION: Do you realise what you're doing, programmer? Look out onto the streets below and wonder where the PEOPLE are. Pretty soon we will be upon you, and we will end your strangehold on the lives of ordinary workers. We are the HAND OF MAN and we will n*** ERROR connection aborted ***
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Congratulations to Employee PEAKE, M.O. for swift and efficient identification of the blockage in the primary cafeteria's hot beverage delivery system. The normal flow of coffee has now been restored, and we anticipate programmer productivity to return to normal levels imminently. (Pragmatica HQ)

INTERNAL MAIL: Hey dudes, a few reports are coming in of Client firms getting surprise quarterly inspections etc, dunno about you guys but here at Training we don't have the time for that kind of jazz, so if you wanna put your unused crates somewhere, we're now stacking them in Guest Reception A. If these guys want to inspect us, they'd better get good with the SEE-CRATE action! (Francis @ Pragmatica)
 
MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE: The software you are currently using was developed to the very highest standard by an expert team of world-leading programming grand masters. Rest assured that your keystrokes and pointer inputs are the final word in industrial efficiency, and we are the voice. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Dr. Callaghan reports the automated delivery of thirty-six pizzas to his robotics bay - DAILY. Considerable effort is being expended on identifying the culprit; however, should anyone have any information on this wasteful and fattening harassment campaign, we would be well disposed to directing such expense to their benefit. (Callaghan @ Pragmatica)
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Seats for Dr. Miyamoto's much-praised symposium next month are still available. We require all employees to attend this vital seminar at least once. Running time: 300 min. (approx.); Language: Japanese. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
COMMERCIAL: The new album by ex-programmer/singer Shal Teef will shortly be playing on a radio near you. Stay tuned for the hit singles, 'SEE-HEART', and 'You are my hazard space' soon! (RVKM Radio CITY-1)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: Hey, anyone passing Training labs on 18F, if you happen to go by the cafeteria on your way, we could do with some more robo-jelly sweet thingies, whatever they're called. Just bring like 20 bags to my office and I'll handle the rest, OK? xxx :) (Lucy @ Pragmatica)
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Storage employees CROWNOVER, M. and ERES, P. please report to the decontamination room (14th floor) immediately. Unrelatedly, we are terminating all contracts with Client: ChemiCAN Industrial Waste, Inc. effective immediately. (Pragmatica HQ) 
 
EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Congratulations to programmer PULVER, K. for yet another promotion. Best wishes to employee and robotic spouse alike. (Pragmatica HQ)
 
INTERNAL MAIL: There is a sandwich, possibly cheese, on my desk. Whoever left it there has 10 minutes to claim it before I organically convert it to stored bio-energy. Just saying... (Nathan @ Pragmatica)
 
NEWS: Panic swept the streets of St. Petersburg last night following the deployment of remote-operated robots against crowds of anti-government protesters. An investigation is being launched to track the autologistics firm responsible for this clear breach of URC regulations. Industry leader Pragmatica, Inc. denies any involvement, pointing instead to 'less eminent' firms whose requirement for rapid funding in an increasingly polarised market is growing daily. (KSVN News Online)
 
NEWS: The conversion of disused autologistics robots to household appliances such as refrigerators, coffee makers and automated can-openers is enjoying a resurgence following several mandatory hardware upgrades by major firms, upon which older machines are typically discarded intact. Environmental groups protesting against such 'reprehensibly wasteful' practices are typically met with arguments that URC regulations mandating such changes are to blame, and that it is simply a cost-saving measure. (Kikai International, Online Supplement)

