SPEAK:MAR
Oh my God!
You don't even... didn't you read the job description?

SPEAK:YOU
I... I glanced at it.

SPEAK:MAR
Right. Fine! Listen!
This particular area of the ocean has something funny going on.
Local fishermen have been reporting back that some weird-ass shit is hitting the fan. They're bringing up a catch and they claim...
...that some of the fish can talk.

SPEAK:YOU
Say what now?

SPEAK:MAR
I said that fish can talk around here!

SPEAK:YOU
(OK... it seems I'm on a boat with a lunatic.)
(I knew this job was too good to be true! Maybe I really should have read the job description properly...)
(Or at least past the first line... 'Large Breasted 26 year old woman requires assistance.')

SPEAK:MAR
Stop thinking to yourself! I'm not paying you to think!
OK, I know it sounds nutty but the fishermen have provided me with a lot of empirical evidence.
One man claims a sea bass begged him for his life.
Another says a Herring called him a twat.
Yet a third says a turbot swore blind he was the man's father, and gave a great deal of annecdotal evidence about the sexual relations it had had with the man's mother.
Nobody goes fishing here anymore.

SPEAK:YOU
I'm not surprised.

SPEAK:MAR
Maybe, but these local people rely on fishing for their income. So you'll be helping them out too.
All I need you to do is go down there and investigate.
If a fish passes a remark about your personal appearance, don't ignore it - catch it.
Bring it back up here. And then I'll show it to the higher echelons of Fish Scientists and they'll finally take me seriously!
Think you can manage that remedial task?

SPEAK:YOU
Yes ma'am!

SPEAK:MAR
Then get in there!

EXIT:MAR

SPEAK:YOU
(Wow!)
(This is flat-out crazy. Talking fish! Ha!)
(I think the silicone's affected her brain function. Oh well, pay's good - and I guess it's a couple of days in the sun.)
(Here goes!)

EOF
