[Nix]

Everyone has a reserve of effort that they deplete throughout their life.

Your time is occupied allocating that effort: if you're lucky enough to have any choices about it, you try to invest it in things that make sense.  

At the point where you have the most effort to expend, you have the least clarity.

I envy Soulsby: she's young enough to benefit from the new society we will create together.  I still have some time but most of my life has been allocated to making a mess and then fixing it.

I do feel drawn to her.  I shouldn't.

I could have had a family but...there was no time.